B: 1 year 3 days old!

Dear B,

Happy 1 year old! This past 1 year has really gone by in a flash. “The days are long but the years are short.” I can’t tell you how much this saying has resonated with me this past 365 days.

Papa and I agree that you’re such a different baby from your elder brother. You’re much calmer and easier to manage. We remember nights your elder bro kept us awake, crying and refusing to sleep. We remember fretting over his eczema that persistently stayed on his cheeks for a good 18 months. You, yes you still wake up in the middle of the night and demand for milk, but we hardly had to pace up and down the room to rock you to sleep. You don’t wake up crying like your bro who did for a good part when he was a baby. You wake up calmly, you sit yourself up and you look around quietly before calling for someone to come for you.

Eating and drinking wise, you’re also not like your bro! Big bro drank a fair amount of milk and made mama worry about her milk supply daily. You, on the other hand, don’t drink as much. You’re still drinking 120ml and only once a day! We introduced you to foods at six months, but you’re still taking your time to explore different things. It’s so difficult to feed you. Papa and I can count the number of times we’ve succeeded feeding you a decent amount of porridge. You would turn away or close your mouth so tight to indicate that you’re not interested. Or you would kick up a fuss and demand to be carried. Let’s just say your big brother had a much better appetite. I’m hoping you don’t continue to be this fussy with your foods my dear!

You’re a big explorer. You ask to be put down on the floor so that you can crawl everywhere on your own. Give you some toys and a big area to crawl and you’ll be most happily entertaining yourself for a good few minutes.

I’m sorry sometimes papa and mama have had to leave you wailing and crying while we attended to your brother. I’m sorry sometimes it feels like we don’t give you enough attention. But we do try. We really do. Sometimes I panick and turn to papa and say, “we need to take more pictures of B.” Time is going so quickly that I am worried I will forget how adorable you are at this age. Papa reassures me we have taken many of you.

Parenting 2 kids with no help is overwhelming on weekends. Sometimes I have to remind myself to let go of some things in order to maintain some sanity. But there are some moments that I insist papa continue doing no matter how tired we both are. We still try our best to take monthly shots of you. And like today, I wanted to take some photos of us so that we can remember this little milestone. One day, if and when you have your own kids, you’ll know how difficult it is to get just ONE good family photo. Your brother is in the i-don’t-enjoy-taking-photos phase in his life so today’s photos are just of papa, mama and you. Perfectly fine because you deserve a shoot all to yourself. I still think we don’t take enough pictures of us and we really should.

I love how niam you are to me. I love how you make me feel so loved. Sometimes I’m carrying you and you wouldn’t want anyone else. You would turn away when people outstretch their hands to carry you. At night, when papa is done bathing and comes over to your brother’s room to take you to the master bedroom to pat you to sleep (while I get your brother to sleep), you would drop everything you’re doing once the door opens and crawl as quickly as you can to me and cling on tightly. We realised you had gotten the hang of the routine! I love how your eyes twinkle when you see me at the door after I come back from work. It never fails to make me so happy to see you so smiley.

B, papa and mama love you to the moon and back. I hope you’ll always be healthy and happy. Hopefully one day you do get to read this and know how much joy you bring to our lives. You’ll always be our littlest baby.

Love
Mama

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