How has it been a full five months since the year began? I panic a little every time I think about how quickly time is just passing us by.
These past weeks have not been easy.
First I’m stuck in a rut at work.
Second, I am rather tired of this commute shit that we do every day during school days.
Third, I am still not getting anywhere with the hunt.
Fourth, I am really sick of the kids falling sick. AND E’s Shitty Behaviour. No, the two are not related.
Fifth, exactly “What Am I Doing With My Life?” Unknown.
That aside, B can now successfully string a few words together to express himself. Like saying “Why korkor drink” in the shower when I tell him not to drink the bath water. No, E’s not drinking the bath water, he was just gargling his mouth.
B is still a fussy eater. Unless he feeds himself (which is not often), he won’t eat any meat or veggie willingly. He’s only eating carbs.
He’s still such a sweet boy though. When he wakes up, he’ll roll over, come really close to my face, call “mama!” and then plant a kiss gently on my face/lips. He clearly knows the way to my heart. And then when you ask for a kiss, he’ll still happily give you one.
E. Well E, is at a challenging stage of toddlerhood? Let’s just say there are lots of tantrums. Doesn’t help that he gets his way at his granny’s. My folks keep saying he needs to be disciplined. I KNOW OKAY. Like is it so difficult to tell that I’m trying my best? These days I’m shouting at him half the time we spend together, which is honestly DRAINING. I’m so sick of it. He has WAY too much screen time in my opinion but what can I do when the grandparents allow it so that they have it easier at meal times?
Sometimes I feel like I’m doing such a bad bad job at this parenting thing.
There are times I feel like, Ok, I’ve had enough shit at work, maybe I should do some part time shit and spend quality time with the kids in their formative years. And then there’s times (like today) where I’m like Oh My Gosh, I Cannot Be A SAHM. I will most definitely drive myself, the kids and the husband Crazy. Then there are times I’m like Guys, I’m so sick of this terrible work culture where we can’t even get off work on time, can we migrate or something like that? Where is this company I can work for that will give me some work life balance and pay me decently well enough so that I can enjoy my life with my family? Is that really asking for too much?
And then, can’t Singers just be a little cooler (temperature wise) so that we will all be less frustrated with living here?
ARGHS. Save Me.